so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
