Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
My boob is missing a layer of skin
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
