went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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