im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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