You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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