i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
