South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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