i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I am available for nakedness
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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