Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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