Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
