The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
