Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
