About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
