you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
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