did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
