literally had 100 drinks last night.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
