There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
