I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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