Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
So vagazzling was a success
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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