i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
