my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
