Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
