At least make sure they are 18
Why
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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