I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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