Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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