Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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