found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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