Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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