omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
