My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
