Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
