the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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