you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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