i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Randomize
