I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
We have so much sex to catch up on
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
