you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
