Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
