you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
