eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I need moral support for this bender
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
