Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
