come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
