I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
