I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
