so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
