We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
