can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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