drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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