Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
