Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
