Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
